I’m not sure I can date someone who doesn’t love bacon.

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Wine will be my Valentine…

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Ready for a night of Blow Jobs, Sex on the beach, and Orgasm’s… I’m talking about Drinks you sick minded people!!

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Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to reflect on all your horrible dating choices since last Valentine’s Day

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Don’t forget to leave work early today so that people actually think you have Valentine’s Day plans.

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Just wanted to thank you in advance for the flowers I’m going to send to myself and pretend are from you.

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I’m glad you recognize how terrible your life would be without me

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Join me for a girls’ night this Valentine’s Day to celebrate our independence before we drunk text our exes and quietly sob ourselves to sleep

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Thinking of Facebook-stalking you this Valentine’s Day

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I want to grow old and disgusting with you

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As fuck buddies, we should fuck this Valentine’s Day

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If I had balls, I’d shave them for you this Valentine’s Day

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#Drake